Apart from congruence, other Rogers preconditions for the actualising process include being fully and consciously entrained to the client’s spontaneous behaviour, accepting anything coming from the client, and being as empathic as possible.
[The therapist] prizes the client in a total rather than a conditional way. By this I mean he does not simply accept the client when he is behaving in certain ways, and disapprove of him when he behaves in other ways… the therapist is sensing the feelings and personal meanings which the client is experiencing in each moment…
— What We Know About Psychotherapy — Objectively and Subjectively, from On Becoming a Person (1961)
It’s surprisingly easy and rewarding to direct exactly that empathy and acceptance towards one’s own feelings and motivations. I’ll go into this more later but it can be done with meditation and various other exercises and attitudes. It produces the effect of having enough time to truly understand.